Writers

Writer Ann Froggatt looks at how new ways of talking to each other are making us isolated

Get a life!

That’s a common expression these days, contemptuous shorthand for “you’re a total bore”. Ironically, those who use it most are often the ones who are least likely to have any measurable quality of life themselves – the obsessive bloggers, the Twitter and Facebook addicts.
The internet’s a brilliant tool, but it’s no substitute for living. Someone recently invited me to join Facebook, so I had a look at it. Sorry, but what a waste of time! How can anyone be satisfied with juvenile occupations like finding out “who’s got a crush on you?”, or “who’s gossiping about you?” except people who are bored, lonely, impressionable or insecure? Social network websites and chatrooms convince people they have real friends and genuine relationships, but in truth what do a few typed “conversations” and “ismile” requests amount to? As for Twitter, the only good thing about it is the link to the live webcam at Fort Dunlop’s peregrine falcon nestboxes.
It seems that real live human contact is being superseded by technology. You can have fantasy relationships instead – easy to manage, not spoiled by awkward truths. Genuine relationships need honesty and commitment. Whether they’re friendship or romance, if they’re to be worthwhile you can’t just log off when the going gets a bit rocky. That’s too much reality for the emotionally immature to cope with. Do you remember the couple who got married after meeting on a fantasy website where they had virtual characters, then got divorced because the wife discovered her husband was being “unfaithful” with another woman’s virtual character? The fact that the law allowed a divorce on those grounds shows just how shallow and meaningless this couple’s relationship was from the start. Pathetic, and an alarming sign of the times.
This article probably won’t be read by the people it’s describing, because they aren’t interested in anything beyond half-a-dozen words on a little screen. What about their counterparts, the soap and chat-show addicts? With the tv on all day, when would they have the time, let alone the interest, to read? These people too are living at second-hand, distanced from reality by their dependence on fantasy. It’s one thing to want a bit of escapism in the evening when you’ve been slogging all day, but quite another to actually need it, like you need food, just to get through the next twenty-four hours.
It’s sad to realise that a lot of these people are likely to be female. What is it that limits them so? It can’t be intelligence, so it must be lack of confidence, imagination, education, or ambition. There is so much to do in real life, and life is very short, so why sacrifice it to the internet or the television? You’re a long time dead, so surely it’s worth beating the habit before it’s too late?
If you know someone like this, tell them “Get a life!”

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